Well, fellow Serious Eats contributor Maggie Hoffman over at Pithy and Cleaver has a solution: skip the greens altogether. Her Chinese restaurant inspired Crunchy Cucumber Salad has all crunchy ingredients (plus sauteed shiitakes) smothered in a peanut sesame dressing (go check it out). I wanted to replicate this, but my salad had to go with the White Beans with Sausage and Greens I was making for dinner (more on that soon), so I switched in a simple lemon vinaigrette for the peanut sauce, and voila: a salad that's even better the next day. It's not so different from Bittman's recipe for Chopped Salad, so we're going to go ahead and check that recipe off the Everything list, too.
